Rest in peace, oh soda jerk: Coke Freestyle elevates individuals to instant mixologists by using a zesty touch-screen system to mix selections from over 100 choices into a custom beverage, all while delivering a geeky high-tech thrill.
Coke spokesperson Helen Tarleton certainly thinks so, calling it a "complete departure from a traditional fountain machine." (She even reports that a gal was caught on security camera fondly embracing and kissing the machine.)
Tarleton expects 500 new Freestyle machines to pop up soon in Southern California, Atlanta, Dallas and Salt Lake City
We decided to take Coke Freestyle for a test drive at a local McDonald's in Atlanta, where we came up with some crazy combinations using the machine's 100-plus flavor options.
While Freestyle's club soda can help cut the sweetness of some of the machine's more intense flavors, you are likely to go crazier with the combinations than you think -- and you're virtually guaranteed to forget whatever it is you put in your cup.
But we were able to document a few of our greatest hits for posterity: "Doogie Fanta, M.D." (Combination: Dr. Pepper, Vault Peach, Cherry Fanta)
"The Red Wolf Blitzer" (Vault Red Blitz, vanilla Diet Coke)
"Lima-berry" (Grape Fanta, Lime Dasani Sensations, Club Soda)
"Customers love them," says Stephen Cordell, McDonald's on Cheshire Bridge's first assistant manager, who seems like a proud father reporting that his two Freestyle machines connect via Wi-Fi to the Coke mothership every morning at 2 a.m. for software updates.
Freestyle feedback was largely positive. "Wow, this is cool" and "How neat" were thrown around McDonald's by customers while we were testing it out.
So go forth, soda geeks, but make sure to keep track of your mix for next time -- and keep some Tums handy for the inevitable sugar-stomachache.
And check out our video from our Coke Freestyle recon mission:
Here’s a trio of clips entitled “Sassy Gay Friend” that are LOL funny. Subscribe to the Second City feed on YouTube if you are so inclined, or friend them on Facebook. Enjoy.
Talking about the president’s nipples is TMI, but Wanda is as funny as ever here. Part one, at the Correspondents’ Dinner, complete with the slamming on Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi. “How’s it goin’, Joe?”
The highlight of this clip by far is giving it to Sarah Palin for pulling out of her GOP event: “That’s not the way to practice abstinence-only sex education.”
And then, part two, complete with the joyously biting and pharmaceutically accurate slam on Rush and on Hannity: “I Can break Sean Hannity by making him sit in a middle seat.”
The image of The Queen of England downloading Lady Gaga is reason enough to watch both of these all the way through!
With love and gratitude to Reeno for sending this creepiest of images along. If I may say, the protest vote is starting to look more and more like a "Great Grandpaw Godzilla for President" campaign postcard!
First, a gag Olympic snippet by Paul Hunt courtesy of Aunt Denny:
And then I found an even earlier one, here:
Which then sent me down an Olympic blooper K-hole, and I found the following. Warning... this is painful to watch, both due to wheezing laughter and "ouch!" moments on the balance beam, vault, et. al.
Can I just say that I'm glad men don't compete on the balance beam? I mean, could you imagine the ruptures? Holy crap!